So we didn’t get the house.
I can’t actually begin to describe what a bitter disappointment it was because it was just. so. perfect. and all the usual things go round ones head in the aftermath of how it may not ever have been achievable in the first place, of how the agents knew it was beyond our reach and lead us on anyway. broken heart, adrenalin overload, blah, blah blah.
But we bounce back don’t we.
Winter is never really a great to time to buy a house. There is that mind-set that Spring is the best time to present a house in full bloom with gentle breezes wafting through and the optimistic vision of a summer spent on one’s potential new verandah. Winter presents a house with a damp towel smell, darkish rooms and a kitchen that looks like it could do with a good hose down. And what’s on offer seems expensive and the only option in a fairly bare market, which is – you know – depressing for financial and emotional reasons. But I digress….
When I first thought of moving to Melbourne as a young adult, I was sure I wanted to live in St. Kilda. It was fascinating, risky and close to the beach – which for someone who grew up in Hobart is something that is deep in the soul. Seeing the water makes my whole soul smile. So even though I don’t see the water very often, being near the water makes me happy (silly hey). Moving there was scary and exhilarating and sometimes not safe but I loved all that then.
I have with minor blips in the life story, lived bayside for an embarrassingly long time. And because we. moved. So. Much. growing up, I wanted my kids to live there too and spend their schooling with friends they had known for ever. I think that consistency may be my own hang up. Plenty of people move schools and survive the experience – thrive and grow from it in fact. Maybe they don’t need my hang ups about consistency, and the fear they have of not seeing their friends regularly will ease off in a new environment. Perhaps.
It has occurred to us that perhaps we are being a bit narrow in our choice of location, and that perhaps, the other side of town might be a bit of an adventure. Being drawn there more frequently anyway, it might be a natural and excellent thing. We might be closer to the city. And you know what. It might be cheaper! Lordy!
Head spinning and being very open, we are starting the search again, but I hope it doesn’t take too long because, I really need to paint in the biggest way – I miss getting my hands dirty and pushing pigment around. The lack of studio is doing my head in and as much as I like adventure, I really, really would like a home and to know it is home.